5 Christmas Movies...

...that every child should see.

1. A Charlie Brown Christmas.
Doesn't anyone know what Christmas is about?! Allow Linus to answer this question and teach your child what Christmas is all about.

2. A Christmas Story.
Because a real family Christmas is never cut and dry. The sooner this lesson is learned, the better.

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Must be the animated version.

4. The Polar Express
If you put a Pixar movie on at home your child will glue himself to the floor with their neck craned upward. Extrapolate that by one thousand and you have the effect of this film in IMAX 3-D.

5. It's A Wonderful Life
I still remember the first time I saw this in fifth grade and it has left a lasting impression on me. It's a bit too much for the younger audience, but when they are of age this movie is a great lesson for everyone and anyone.

More Snacks!!!

After writing the last blog about 5 healthy snacks I found a couple websites with some interesting snack ideas. First the food network gives us 50 afternoon snack ideas that, while not necessarily healthy, are delicious.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/50-after-school-snacks/index.html

I make up, however, for my disregard for health by including a website that offers a list of 20 inexpensive, healthy items (two things everyone should be, frugal and healthy).

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22177/52070-twenty-healthiest-foods-1/print

And then, on a somewhat less interesting note, here is a list of Christmas recipes for all the leftover turkey, ham and stuffing crowding your refrigerator.

http://busycooks.about.com/od/christmas/a/Christmasleftov.htm

Alright, no more food for a while! I promise...

Five Healthy Snacks

Not to pump a dry well, but to follow up on the theme of childhood obesity I wanted to offer some healthy snacks. Snacking is one of the biggest problems when it comes to weight control; both the frequency and quality of the snack need to be regulated. Ideally we should eat five small meals a day, 3 full course meals and two smaller snack-type meals. Now what to do about the two:

1. Fruit. It's so easy, but we often forget about the fruit. We want a sweet snack and we reach for thirty other things with terrible things in them. Next time you want a cookie, eat some grapes, it'll curb your sugar appetite and it will make you feel better as well.

2. Ants on a Log. Celery + Peanut Butter + Raisins. It doesn't get better or tastier in my opinion. If you want to take the snack from an A to an A+ use natural peanut butter. If your child is used to regular peanut butter the difference can be jarring, but if they're not then you're good to go.

3. Chocolate milk. Keeping with the theme of sweet, healthy snacks because (lets face it) kids love sweet snacks. Chocolate milk is delicious, provides vitamins and is the perfect blend of good and bad.

4. PB and Jelly. This sandwich is a classic. And it's easy, you can even have your child make it. You could buy the Smucker's brand that is loaded with preservatives and God knows what else. I prefer to make it myself. Also, not a bad idea to buy some kind of jelly that isn't pure sugar, something that is natural and organic. Peanut butter is already sweet enough.

5. Yogurt. 1 in 4 kids do not get enough calcium. Give them yogurt and some chocolate milk and you've successfully combated the problem.

I think I'm going to make some ants on a log. Enjoy!

Childhood Obesity

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in America. A child that is obese has, most of the time, learned bad eating habits that will be carried into adulthood and that can lead to a plethora of diseases. More people die of heart disease than lung cancer and both are self-inflicted wounds (genetic predispositions aside). One of the things I noticed as an adult is that bad food is addictive. It has been argued that refined sugar is the most addictive substance on the planet. Fast foods have chemicals in them that the body begins to crave; these can be hard habits to break on a chemical level. That is why it is imperative to train the body to enjoy healthy eating habits.

The causes of childhood obesity are easily defined: low activity levels, poor nutrition and a lax attitude towards what is being eaten. Perhaps the saddest part of this epidemic is that the families being affected are actually malnourished and spending more money than need be. Eating healthy can be affordable; you do not have to spend hundreds of dollars at a health food store to eat right. So how do we stop this problem? This article at helpguide.org gives you some easy tips to follow that have been listed below.

• Get the whole family involved - This the number one rule in childhood development, do as YOU say and they will, in turn, do as YOU do
• Encourage healthy eating habits
• Be smart about snacks and sweets - These are a reward that should be given only for special and significant reasons.
• Watch portion sizes
• Get your kid moving
• Reduce screen time
• Get involved

I would encourage you to read the entire article as it goes into greater detail and provides specific examples of how to improve eating habits. If you are skeptical, as I was, that this is a problem I would encourage you to go here and read a scholarly article about the growing problem.

Thanksgiving Recipes

I was worried that I was going to mess up and miss the deadline to post Thanksgiving recipes, but then I realized that nobody cooks before Thanksgiving (not to mention the limited number of readers and the fact that everyone has their own recipes for Thanksgiving...). So I've compiled some recipes from around the worldwide web that I've found over the last year and have never made before. They are not Thanksgiving specific, but they are definitely things most people serve on Thanksgiving, so without further ado (click the name of the item for recipes):

1. Green Chile Macaroni - I know that as a kid, and sadly as an adult, I ate an inordinate amount of macaroni and cheese. The same old recipe can get tiring, even if it is homemade, so try this recipe which adds a Southwestern kick to an old favorite. If you insist on the original, however, this recipe claims (and looks) to be perfect.

2. The Bird - Everyone hates a dry bird, and everyone hates the ridicule that comes from making said dry bird. The people at the food network know best, though I'm not sure they need an entire network...

3. Dressing, stuffing, what have you - Now you can go and find yourself any number of variations on a classic and I know that given my words earlier concerning macaroni you may expect me to venture out into different waters when it comes to dressing, but you would be mistaken. Nothing is better than classic dressing. If I knew my mom's own recipe, I would post it here. Alas, I do not, and I don't want to give away the secret anyway, but I have left you in the capable hands of the food network.

4. Dessert - There is only one desert in my mind: the one, the only, pecan pie. The people at myhomecooking.net bring you through the 3 step process to perfect this, the most important of traditions.

Now go forth and eat. Have a happy bird day!

The Cult of Mine

We've seen it before. A child plays with a toy, another child approaches and suddenly the first child proclaims ownership of the toy in a decisive manner (MINE!). It's a common and embarrassing problem for any parent: when they see that their child does not know how to share. What is the cause of this selfish behavior and how can it be corrected?

According to Lynne Namka, Doctor of Education, selfish behavior can be a phase that children grow out of when they get older. It is natural for a 2-3 year old to be selfish because they get attention by crying and they see the world as a place that provides for them whenever they need something. This behavior can carry over into the teenage years if not addressed early on in childhood.

David Foster Wallace, PhD, posits that as humans we are "hard-wired" to think of ourselves as being at the center of the universe; every experience we have happens to us and it it because of this that are feelings seem more real and urgent. Wallace argues that the term "well-adjusted" is not accidental, that are default hard wiring is too be self-centered. It is up to parents to make this adjustment.

One solution is to lead by example: share with your child and when they refuse to share do the same to them so they understand how it feels to be left out. It's not a fun experience for either parent or child, but it is necessary. Another answer is to make sure your child has an appropriate level of attention, too little can create an inferiority complex that morphs into narcissistic behavior. If your child feels constantly neglected he/she can feel that they are owed something. Lynne Namka recommends counseling a self-absorbed child in these areas:

• Learning to follow directions and take in information instead of going to instant debate
• Delaying gratification and learning to inhibit impulsive actions
• Learning to separate the big deals from the little deals and let go of the small injustices of life.
• Learning to state boundaries and allow others their boundaries
• Dealing with frustrations in socially acceptable ways
• Reinforcing his own self when behavior is appropriate
• Becoming his own coach and cheerleader for making good choices
• Viewing others with empathy and seeing things from their point of view
• Develop a healthy type of narcissism based on the balance between giving and receiving

For Lynne's full article, go here.

The Importance of Thanksgiving

Did you know that Canada celebrates Thanksgiving? Did you know that the first Thanksgiving celebrated in the United States is a matter of some dispute? Did you know that Thanksgiving was modeled after the Harvest Festivals of Europe?

You may or may not know the answers to these questions, depending on how thoroughly you research your holidays, but I can almost guarantee your child does not. For American children Thanksgiving is about "hand" Turkeys, Pilgrims and Native Americans. The original holiday was created as a religous ceremony to give thanks to God for providing food for another winter, but in this country it's easy to forget that food is still a commodity in many places; including several places in our own backyards.

The point is that school and a cursory/periphery education of Thanksgiving leaves a child with the gist of the holiday: family, football and a general warm feeling. None of these things are wrong or out of place and they certainly come to my mind when I think of Thanksgiving, but what about "giving thanks." One tradition is to go around the table and say something we all were thankful for this year. Usually the parents take this more seriously, but mostly everyone offers up the usual empty, banal statements of thanks. So here is my suggestion: mean it.

Take a second to truthfully instill the importance of this holiday. Yes it's great to see family and eat ourselves senseless, but it's also great that we get to be alive. A child is never to young to realize this. This year, maybe take your child to a soup kitchen in the morning, let them see what it's like for other people. Or maybe have a serious conversation with them and explain the holiday. It has become increasingly easy to make light of our American traditions as chances for unbridled consumerism and economic stimulation, but it doesn't have to be. Personalize Thanksgiving this year and next year, and for years to come, we will all have reason to be thankful.

VOLUNTEER:

http://www.westsidethanksgiving.org/turkey2004/pages/volunteer.html

http://www.unionstationhs.org/dinners_in_the_park.html

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/guide/thanksgiving-volunteer-opportunities/

Upcoming Kid Friendly Events

October was a hectic halloween over it does not get easier, however, because Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner. While I'm sure you have plenty of things on the old holiday itinerary, I thought it might be a good idea to jam your schedule with even more stuff! Here are some cool(?) events around the city of Los Angeles that you and your child can do around Los Angeles:

Dia De Los Muertos
If you've never been to a DDLM celebration and you live in Los Angeles than you're doing something wrong. The Echo Park Branch Library has a tradition of placing flowers, photographs and mementos on altars to honor the memory of family members and friends. Definitely worth checking out.

The GRAMMY Museum - John Lennon Songwriter
Before Justin Beiber there was this guy named John Lennon and a little group called The Beatles. Now I know you know this, but your child doesn't. Take them and show them.

A Christmas Carol at the El Capitan Theater
It's a little early, but everyone loves this movie. It is inexplicably playing from 11/7 until 11/21. Nevertheless, get them in the Christmas spirit early, you know?

These are 3 of my favorite events, but there are several more here:

http://gocitykids.parentsconnect.com/calendar/los-angeles-ca-usa/2010-11-06?page=2&endDate=&resultsPerPage=10&categoryIds=&costTexts=&ageRanges=.

5 Websites for Kids

I find that I spend a lot of wasted time on the internet without real direction or aim. This can be especially true for kids. At my work, we do our best to not allow students to use the internet unless it is absolutely mandatory for class. Everything on the internet, however, isn't terrible. I've come up with a list of 5 websites to keep your kids occupied and intellectually stimulated.

1. http://www.tedxyouthday.com/talks/

If you haven't heard of TED talks, then this link will also interest you. At TED.com they post lectures, speeches and presentations from an event that hosts the top minds in the world in various subjects. Recently the TED foundation has sponsored events aimed at kids, even having kids deliver the speeches. It's an educational video series that presents new and interesting ideas that will be intriguing for parent and child.

2. http://pbskids.org/

PBS kids has a kid-friendly website that provides interactive games that are also educational.

3. http://www.funbrain.com/

Another educational and interactive website for kids.

4. http://bartleby.com/

Aimed at a slightly older crowd, so again a plus for parents, bartleby is a great online resource for free books. Many of the classics can be found here as well as a ton of other books. If you're looking for a book to read your child that you can also be interested in, bartleby will have some great choices.

5. http://www.tempe.gov/youthlibrary/preschool/preschweb.htm

This last website has a ton of links to good reading websites for a child still in preschool. Click a link and be launched in to the world of Peter Rabbit or the Berenstain Bears.



The internet can be useful tool, as long as it's being used properly. Make sure you guide your child's internet use and check out these great websites!

The Importance of Early Education

I tutor at a place where 95% of the children are from low-income households. Every single day we encounter children who are behind in several areas and need all the help they can get. After my session on Monday I called my brother and told him, "When your son is old enough you better put him in preschool, you better read to him and you better help him with his schoolwork." Everyday I'm reminded of just how vital it is to have your child learning from an early age.

That's not to say that a child who doesn't go to preschool is doomed. I didn't go to preschool, but my older sisters and my mother read to me and my sisters did this weird faux-classroom thing (they were really bored) in which they would teach me things that my sponge-like mind never forgot. I turned out fine, but the importance of preschool should not be underestimated.

"There's increasing evidence that children gain a lot from preschool," says Kathleen McCartney, Dean of Harvard Graduate School of Education. "At preschool, they become exposed to numbers, letters, and shapes. And, more important, they learn how to socialize-- get along with other children, share, contribute to circle time." We've covered the importance of children interacting with their peers, but preschool is vital for a child's academic development. By exposing your child to fun and challenging games early, you are fostering development. It may seem arbitrary, but it's one of the biggest favors you can do for your child. Everything runs into everything else: if a kid starts behind in 1st grade then he/she will have to play catch up each year of grade school or else they will stay behind each year until it's too late. For many of the kids I tutor the concept of college is not a foregone conclusion; their parents didn't go to college and without the influence of a college-educated or college-oriented parent/sibling in the house it's difficult for them to come up with those ideas on their own. Their parents are doing all they can by taking advantage of the free tutoring and it is my hope that we can help some of these kids, but the sooner we get to them the better. If you can afford preschool or a child development center, then there should be no hesitation to enroll your child.

If you're short on money, and even if you're not, you should be reading to your kids, helping them learn their abc's, counting with them, finding interactive and fun learning games online where there are hundreds of programs you can play and download. I can't tell you the number of kids who are bothered by the very idea of learning because the culture their parents raised them in never made learning fun or even addressed learning at all. Make learning fun for your child. Make the importance of learning evident. Give your child incentives. Geoffrey Canada, founder of HCZ an innovative program for inner city youth in Harlem, came up with the idea of offering children monetary incentives to learn. The idea was met with controversy, but it works! When I was a child my Dad refused to give me allowance; there was only one way for me to earn money: $1/book. That's right, $1 per book. And it worked. I love reading now and I don't do it because I still get a dollar, it was simply a good way to get me to read outside of class.

The bottom line is that we all want our kids to do better than we did. The first step is to send them to preschool and to make sure that you are helping them along in their development. Of course a kid needs to be a kid (my father used to say, when he felt I was being too "adult", that I had only 18 years to be a kid and the rest of my life to be an adult), but a nudge in the right direction will pay dividends. Ultimately your child will thank you and hopefully they will pass it on to their children.

Here is a website with some games, activities and other ideas for your child:

http://www.theideabox.com/

Halloween: Candy

(Writer's Note: The videos in this post may not display correctly. To view the original version click play on the video and then click the video image. A new screen should pop-up where the video will play via youtube. If your browser blocks pop-ups hold down the ctrl button and click the video image.)

We all know that children love candy, but if you forget, there will always be someone there to remind you:




In the unlikely event, however, that you are completely clueless, this video lays out the basics for you:




But maybe you don't want to subscribe to the rule that Halloween has to be unhealthy (unsolicited advice/opinion: Halloween is sacred in the life of a child and should be one of the only times (Christmas, Easter) that kids can stuff themselves with cavity inducing, stomach churning sugar...) there are tons of ways to improve the nutrition of your holiday. The website below has a ton of healthy Halloween recipe ideas if you're baking for a school function or a party:

http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/best-halloween-recipes-786790/

These days, however, it's pretty tough to give out unwrapped treats to neighborhood kids (For good reason. Please make sure to go through your child's treat bag and remove any suspicious or unwrapped candy and throw them away.), but there are some alternatives to spread healthiness to the whole neighborhood. The video below has some good tips. The first half has more recipes, but the second half is a guide to buying candy; unfortunately much of the candy they mention has peanut butter in it which can be a problem for kids with allergies...



And again we have Diet.Com expanding the list of Don't(s) and adding a few Do(s):




No matter what candy you choose to buy, the most important rule of Halloween is safety first. So make sure you check your kids bags and make sure you don't lose your Shark Boy or Frog Girl (I have no idea what costumes are popular these days) amongst the sea of Shark Boys and Frog Girls that are sure to populate your neighborhood. And if you really have no idea what to buy, just bring your child to the grocery store and tell him/her to grab exactly what he/she wants for Halloween. Then give it away to other kids. Just Kidding! Happy Halloween!

Kid Files #3

Today I worked with a child who most likely has Asperger's syndrome. We spent two hours working on a Math handout about mental math, that is calculating addition and subtraction in one's head. He happened to be very good at the addition portion of the handout, but he struggled with the subtraction. Most of the two hours was spent on one problem in particular that we never finished. He begged for me to give him the answers, but I remained steadfast; I believed, and still believe, that he could do it. As the clock approached 5:30 he became hysterical. He began sobbing and telling me that it was all my fault and that his parents would be mad at him for not finishing his work. After he left I sat down for about twenty minutes trying to rethink my actions. A couple coworkers had overheard the interaction and they were apologetic that I had had such a difficult afternoon which was reassuring. Still I found myself in a daze as I walked to a local coffee shop. Was it my fault? Should I have just given him the answers? Would that really solve anything? After an hour I realized that it wouldn't; I had to stand firm. I could have let him do it on paper, but he was already proficient in that area. I could have given him the answers, but what would he do at the grocery store when he needed $22 but only had a $20? Surely it would be more embarrassing to have to learn it then rather than now. And yet it didn't make me feel any better to have done what I deemed to be the right thing. The next day I saw the student again and he gave me an enthusiastic hello. I might not have been his favorite tutor, but I think I earned his respect.

It's always a surprise.

Halloween: Costumes

Halloween is one of those holidays that never loses it's appeal. Unlike Christmas, adults get to participate as much as their children do and this time around no one is monitoring their candy intake! Halloween has always had a near and dear place in my heart as my birthday is four days before the holiday; as such I've decided to write the next couple blogs with a focus on the approaching holiday, which is on a Sunday this year (bad news for those of us who have work the following day...I guess there is something to being a kid), starting with costumes.

Let's talk budget first. Everyone wants to look good for Halloween, but what if you're trying to save a few dollars for some extra candy apples and a jumbo bag of Sweet Tarts. Understandable. The following link has a bunch of great ideas for using items you can find around your house. The list of costumes to be made with a box are pretty great:

http://costumeideazone.com/

Another cheap, affordable and quick option is make-up. Using face paint and hair dye, you can transform your child into a regular Frankenstein for 3+ hours. Here are some tips on how to make your child Harry Potter or a Frazzled Housewife, plus more:

http://www.halloweenishere.com/costume_ideas.html

Of course if you happened to have scratched off 2 out of 3 winning numbers or you recently turned in your recyclables for cash or you saved on the electric bill by learning to read in the dark, you can pay for your costume. But how much fun is that? By making a costume, and including your child, you're fostering his/her creativity and teaching a valuable lesson: the best things in life are free (or they are cheaper than some of the other best things). At any rate, I'm sure come October 31st there will be many happy goblins and ghouls running around. Look out next week for a blog about the sweet stuff: candy. Happy (early) Halloween!

Kid Files #2

This past summer I worked at a camp. We were warned about home sickness going into the summer, but as my kids were older I doubted that I would have to deal with it even though I had brief bouts of it myself. Before bed we always showered and brushed our teeth and then got into bed and talked for a while. One night a boy got up in the middle of our conversation and ran to the bathroom and vomited. Minutes later I was out of bed and walking him to the infirmary. We made our way up to the nurse and talked to her, waking her up and getting some medication. I could tell that he was feeling better and that perhaps he was not sick at all. And then the truth came out: he was not really sick he just missed his brother who had not come to camp for the first half of camp. This was the longest and first time they had ever been apart. I shared my own home-sickness and we walked around for a while, trying to shake the negative feelings. I asked him what he did when he felt bad at home and he replied that he played the piano. We headed to a music room and I listened as he played a few of his favorite tunes. Later as we walked down the hill we both felt better and I wasn't even sick to begin with.

It's always a surprise.

What to do if my child lies?

During high school I had a friend who lied constantly without reason or provocation. One time specifically he walked past me with headphones on his ears. I asked him what he was listening to as he was dancing and moving his head with a high degree of satisfaction. He told it was Mandy Moore. Later, at PE, I had a chance to inspect the CD player while my friend was in the bathroom. He was not listening to Mandy Moore. He was listening to anything, there was no CD and there were no batteries in the CD player.

Despite the tone of the story, my friend was not crazy; he truly enjoyed lying and did not know how to stop. Kids lie for a variety of reasons: to avoid trouble, to enhance the truth, and sometimes only because they can. The behavior must be corrected before it becomes a habit as in the case of my friend. Below are some strategies to correct this troublesome behavior:

1. Limit the child’s opportunity to lie. If you know the child did something wrong tell the child immediately. Believing your child will tell the truth is good way to build trust, but if your child has a problem with lying you have to erase the possibility. Ask direct questions without accusation but questions that don’t skirt around the point.

2. Keep your cool. If you are already at a 10 when you begin the conversation with your child why would he/she admit to his/her deed?

3. Do not let your child get away with it. If the behavior goes unpunished lying will become a habit without fear of consequence.

4. Make sure you offer to hear their side of the story. Chances are your child had a reason for doing what he/she did; find out what it is. If you understand were their coming from, they’ll respect you and the punishment will fit the crime.

For further information go to:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sophy6.html

This website offers a four step approach to getting your kids to tell the truth.

Flu Season

It’s that time of year again: flu season. The holidays are hectic enough, no need for more stress. Here are some tips for protecting your family from influenza:

1. Wash your hands! An oldie but a goodie. Washing your hands is as effective as it was when we were kids.

2. Nutrition. Make sure your child is getting everything they need in the way of diet. A healthy defense (immune system) is the best offense against colds.

3. Bless you! There are two ways to sneeze properly: 1) Into your hands or a tissue and then IMMEDIATELY washing your hands or 2) Sneezing into your sleeve. A you tube tutorial is provided here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpPA73SZJYE

4. I’m sorry… It’s not rude to keep your children away from sick people, it’s in their best interest. By the same token, do not send your fever-ridden child to school or other public places!

More tips? Only because you asked nicely:

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/preventing.htm

Kid Files #1

Earlier this week I was working with an extremely hyperactive child. Getting through his homework was a struggle: he threw himself on the floor, disrupted other children and made inappropriate noises. After an hour I was ready to quit, but we persevered and finished. After homework the kids at my work are supposed to read for 30 minutes and write based off of that day’s prompt. My student and I hopped right into the writing as I didn’t think I had the patience to deal with reading. The prompt was for Dia de los Muertos; the student was to write about a person in their life who died. If not a person, then a pet. My student, luckily, had experienced neither. So we brainstormed and we thought of something else that he had lost: a quarter. By the end of the session he had written a funny, creative story that wished his quarter a farewell as it lived for eternity in “quarter heaven.” A little patience went a long way and I realized that there was more to the student than I thought.

It’s always a surprise.

How can I correct my child's behavior?

The above question implies that there is something wrong with a child’s behavior. When assessing behavior we must remain objective and realize that behavior is only worth correcting when disruptive. Once the child has created a disruption, it is important to pinpont the source of the behavioral problem: is the child aware or unaware that what he/she is doing is bad behavior. If the child is unaware or aware, the first thing to do is to explain to them why that behavior is inappropriate. If the child was previously unaware, there is a good chance they will at least try to stop the behavior. If not further steps may have to be taken. Let’s take a look at some useful tips for curtailing bad behavior.

1. Decide that the behavior is normal for a child of that age.

As we all know children go through phases, some worse than others. As a child I recited whole commercials, verbatim, to anyone that would listen. While certainly an annoying habit, it’s one that I eventually grew out of with support, love and patience from my family. Children are bound to do some things that are purely juvenile. As they should.

2. Punish the behavior.

This is especially important if the behavior is physical or extreme in any fashion. A behavior that is directly hurting someone should not be tolerated and a proportional and swift punishment should be instituted whenever the behavior is repeated.

3. Ignore the behavior.

Another form of punishment and one that I believe works the best. Most bad behavior is a cry for attention. When a child realizes that they are not going to get attention for that behavior, they fall back into line. As a counselor and coach this works effectively because the disruptive child quickly sees that his peers are not mimicking his actions. One on one this tactic is more difficult to accomplish and it actually begins to resemble tip #1 which is to essentially give into the behavior.

4. Redirect

There are only slight differences between a disruptive child and a star pupil: both are outspoken, confident and hungry for attention. Reminding a child of what behavior you like and what will make you pay attention can be very effective. Most disruptive children know exactly what they are doing. Having an aside with them and talking to them as a peer validates the child and let’s he/she know that you see something in them. If you can take the energy they are wasting on being defiant and redirect to a positive behavior, then you’ve not only stopped a problem, you’ve created a future solution.

Ultimately changing behavior is never easy. Setting a good example is always important but when that doesn’t work, we must rely on patience to get us through the difficult task of correcting a child’s actions. Trying to change what someone, let alone a child, does is never easy or instantaneous. It is a slow process, one requiring perseverance and love.

Further reading:

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/behavior/201.html

Why do children need to play?

“Today’s another day, time to play.” -Sally Wade

Our modern world dictates that we ask ourselves questions that were fundamentally understood truths for years and years. Had you asked fifty years ago why do children need to play, the answer would have been something along the lines of, “Because that’s what children do.” However, with advances in child development and behavioral sciences we now have a better idea of what it is children gain from the act of playing. According to Deborah J. Leong, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Metropolitan State College in Denver, play has a potential for fostering many areas of young children's development, including social and cognitive development. These types of activities have the following characteristics: 1) Children create a pretend scenario by negotiating and talking to peers and use props in a symbolic way; and 2) Children create specific roles-and rules-for pretend behavior and adopt multiple themes and multiple roles. When play has these characteristics, it can teach children how to communicate effectively, how to respect another’s wishes and how to express an opinion without anger or physicality. Having established why children need to play, a second question arises: How do we get our children to play?

Television, internet, video games, music videos, ipods, cell phones, etc. The list of distractions are endless. In a world where most adults cannot curtail their use of electronic devices, it’s easy to understand the difficulty in making a child put down a device and play with his peers. Leong argues that even when we succeed in getting our kids to participate, these events are usually adult oriented or consist of the same age group of kids. Before the age of the internet and television, a neighborhood full of kids might gather spontaneously to play a sport or another game and be forced to govern themselves. Unsupervised activity, such as this, is hands on social learning that can’t be taught in school. As a replacement Leong is in support of early childhood classrooms, where these situations can be simulated and where there are still adults present to encourage play.

While play has other practical purposes (letting children run around so that they actually go to sleep on time for instance), the true importance is that the children are developing social skills. Any good school‘s aim, from a local elementary school to Harvard, is to instill within a child, teenager or young adult a social education. Anyone can gain knowledge from books, but interaction with one’s peers provides an education that can’t be taught or measured academically. With more distractions than ever, our job is to make sure that our children are learning how to talk to one another, how to understand one another and how, through that, to understand themselves.

Further Reading:

http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=10595

http://www.allianceforchildhood.org/sites/allianceforchildhood.org/files/file/pdf/pdf_files/BAECF_Play_in_the_Early_Years_May07.pdf

http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/unstructured.htm

Spring time and allergies vs. a cold

During this time of year it is difficult to decipher what is an allergy and what is a cold. It seems that there are more and more allergies in the last few years than ever before. Some experts contribute more allergens in our environment because of pollution or pesticides on all levels. I think that this is true but we need to be appropriate with the way we view an allergy vs. the common cold. I think as a rule of thumb if the symptoms are consistent throughout the day then you may need to take your child to their pediatrician to make sure that it is not something that requires an antibiotic or exclusion from group care. I think that allergies tend to be worse at different times of the day such as when you go outside or you are in a room that is not ventilated well. In any event we want our children to be happy and feel good. Usually children are resilient and need sleep, food, liquids, and isolation (exclusion form people), to recover from a cold. Always take things in stride and try not to be overwhelmed by symptoms as much as your child's activity level. When children are lethargic and have a loss of appetite it may be a good time to go to their pediatrician. Even allergies can make a child feel lethargic and may require an antihistamine to feel better. I have put up a few interesting links for your viewing pleasure.

Allergies and Environmental Issues

Flu or not the Flu?

Allergy Symptoms and Foods to Avoid

A Common cold or an Allergy?

Is my child ready for Kindergarten?

The school year of 2009-2010 is coming to a close. As we approach the Spring and Summer months the excitement and nerves of beginning a new school year starts to set in. Parents of children beginning elementary school for the first time feel a sense of happiness and sadness because the reality of early childhood ending but happiness because of the many delightful experiences ahead. Often times, first time elementary parents, are overwhelmed with the social expectations for the "best" school as well as their child being "good enough" or "smart" enough to do well in their academic journey. The reality is that you, as a parent, have been given one of the hardest jobs in the world with no guidance but the guidance of your gut. The innate qualities that you have make you the best at what you do as a parent. You do not need to know everything but you do need to acknowledge everything and prioritize what is the most important and what can wait. As a parent it is easy to become fixated on things that do not matter. Children who receive unconditional love, a listening ear, and the opportunity to explore in their early childhood years, do exceptionally well in their elementary years. At times, we can become focused on things that do not matter when we need to focus on the inner child and what they need emotionally. Childhood can be hard to understand but remember, you were a child once and you can connect to the feelings that made you want to never grow up. Remember the times when life was easier and you felt free. Childhood is simply the opportunity to be without regret and the freedom to explore without apologies- let your child be a child as long as they can...they will have the rest of their lives to be grown-ups.
The following are 7 things to look for in your child for Kindergarten readiness:
1. getting along with others
2. making and keeping friends
3. handling emotions
4. expressing oneself
5. wanting to learn new things
6. starting and finishing an activity
7. taking responsibility for actions
www.readyatfive.org
Is my child ready for Kindergarten the importance of social and emotional development
Is my Child Ready for Kindergarten?
NAEYC Where we stand on school readiness

To go organic or not to go organic...that is the question...

Over the last year I have made some changes to our snack menu at the preschool because of the push to buy organic. As I researched what the organic sticker (in the chain grocery stores) represents I was surprised. Through my research I discovered that the FDA has a minimum requirements for food in order to be considered organic. In other words, food that has an organic sticker may still have pesticides that were used in the growth process. Pesticides are not bad but in the last 25 years we have been conditioned to recognize pesticides as being the enemy. Pesticides are used to keep pests away...we do need them but in moderation. The real issue, when it comes to buying organic is to remember the following:

1. Is the fruit in season?
2. Are the farms local (California)?
3. Does the fruit have a normal decaying process?

It is important to recognize that fruit that is in season and comes from local farms does not require shipping for days or months to arrive at the destination you purchased it, thus no artificial methods were used to ripen the fruit. If the fruit decays after a few days then it was harvested at its peak thus allowing for all the flavors and nutrients to be natural without technology to make the crop look pretty but be tasteless.

In conclusion, food is only truly organic if you can grow the food yourself or go to a community garden to guarantee that no pesticides were used.
Here are some helpful websites:

http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/DOCKETS/dockets/06p0094/06p-0094-cp00001-05-Tab-04-Food-Marketing-Institute-vol1.pdf

http://www.quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/organic.html

http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/

community garden in Santa Monica

Video on Food Inc.