During high school I had a friend who lied constantly without reason or provocation. One time specifically he walked past me with headphones on his ears. I asked him what he was listening to as he was dancing and moving his head with a high degree of satisfaction. He told it was Mandy Moore. Later, at PE, I had a chance to inspect the CD player while my friend was in the bathroom. He was not listening to Mandy Moore. He was listening to anything, there was no CD and there were no batteries in the CD player.
Despite the tone of the story, my friend was not crazy; he truly enjoyed lying and did not know how to stop. Kids lie for a variety of reasons: to avoid trouble, to enhance the truth, and sometimes only because they can. The behavior must be corrected before it becomes a habit as in the case of my friend. Below are some strategies to correct this troublesome behavior:
1. Limit the child’s opportunity to lie. If you know the child did something wrong tell the child immediately. Believing your child will tell the truth is good way to build trust, but if your child has a problem with lying you have to erase the possibility. Ask direct questions without accusation but questions that don’t skirt around the point.
2. Keep your cool. If you are already at a 10 when you begin the conversation with your child why would he/she admit to his/her deed?
3. Do not let your child get away with it. If the behavior goes unpunished lying will become a habit without fear of consequence.
4. Make sure you offer to hear their side of the story. Chances are your child had a reason for doing what he/she did; find out what it is. If you understand were their coming from, they’ll respect you and the punishment will fit the crime.
For further information go to:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sophy6.html
This website offers a four step approach to getting your kids to tell the truth.
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