The above question implies that there is something wrong with a child’s behavior. When assessing behavior we must remain objective and realize that behavior is only worth correcting when disruptive. Once the child has created a disruption, it is important to pinpont the source of the behavioral problem: is the child aware or unaware that what he/she is doing is bad behavior. If the child is unaware or aware, the first thing to do is to explain to them why that behavior is inappropriate. If the child was previously unaware, there is a good chance they will at least try to stop the behavior. If not further steps may have to be taken. Let’s take a look at some useful tips for curtailing bad behavior.
1. Decide that the behavior is normal for a child of that age.
As we all know children go through phases, some worse than others. As a child I recited whole commercials, verbatim, to anyone that would listen. While certainly an annoying habit, it’s one that I eventually grew out of with support, love and patience from my family. Children are bound to do some things that are purely juvenile. As they should.
2. Punish the behavior.
This is especially important if the behavior is physical or extreme in any fashion. A behavior that is directly hurting someone should not be tolerated and a proportional and swift punishment should be instituted whenever the behavior is repeated.
3. Ignore the behavior.
Another form of punishment and one that I believe works the best. Most bad behavior is a cry for attention. When a child realizes that they are not going to get attention for that behavior, they fall back into line. As a counselor and coach this works effectively because the disruptive child quickly sees that his peers are not mimicking his actions. One on one this tactic is more difficult to accomplish and it actually begins to resemble tip #1 which is to essentially give into the behavior.
4. Redirect
There are only slight differences between a disruptive child and a star pupil: both are outspoken, confident and hungry for attention. Reminding a child of what behavior you like and what will make you pay attention can be very effective. Most disruptive children know exactly what they are doing. Having an aside with them and talking to them as a peer validates the child and let’s he/she know that you see something in them. If you can take the energy they are wasting on being defiant and redirect to a positive behavior, then you’ve not only stopped a problem, you’ve created a future solution.
Ultimately changing behavior is never easy. Setting a good example is always important but when that doesn’t work, we must rely on patience to get us through the difficult task of correcting a child’s actions. Trying to change what someone, let alone a child, does is never easy or instantaneous. It is a slow process, one requiring perseverance and love.
Further reading:
No comments:
Post a Comment