Kid Files #3

Today I worked with a child who most likely has Asperger's syndrome. We spent two hours working on a Math handout about mental math, that is calculating addition and subtraction in one's head. He happened to be very good at the addition portion of the handout, but he struggled with the subtraction. Most of the two hours was spent on one problem in particular that we never finished. He begged for me to give him the answers, but I remained steadfast; I believed, and still believe, that he could do it. As the clock approached 5:30 he became hysterical. He began sobbing and telling me that it was all my fault and that his parents would be mad at him for not finishing his work. After he left I sat down for about twenty minutes trying to rethink my actions. A couple coworkers had overheard the interaction and they were apologetic that I had had such a difficult afternoon which was reassuring. Still I found myself in a daze as I walked to a local coffee shop. Was it my fault? Should I have just given him the answers? Would that really solve anything? After an hour I realized that it wouldn't; I had to stand firm. I could have let him do it on paper, but he was already proficient in that area. I could have given him the answers, but what would he do at the grocery store when he needed $22 but only had a $20? Surely it would be more embarrassing to have to learn it then rather than now. And yet it didn't make me feel any better to have done what I deemed to be the right thing. The next day I saw the student again and he gave me an enthusiastic hello. I might not have been his favorite tutor, but I think I earned his respect.

It's always a surprise.