When my brother was four he stole a toy dinosaur from Target. We were in the car, halfway home, when my mother looked in the rear view mirror and saw the incriminating evidence. "Junior, where did your brother get that toy?" my mother asked as I was forced to tear myself away from a game I conconcted for my self on car rides. "I don't know," I replied honestly. After about thirty seconds my mother realized where he had gotten it from and we were turning around to go to Target.
Of course my brother had no idea that he stole the dinosaur nor did he realize the consequences of stealing, something my mother explained in great detail on the car ride home. My brother saw something he wanted and he went for it, a natural human reaction. So how do we teach our kids that what may seem alright is wrong? Here are a few tips.
1. Teach
It's obvious, but overlooked. You must actually teach your child that taking what is not yours is wrong. Otherwise they do not know.
2. Separate.
Nothing is more frustrating than having your siblings touch your stuff. Kids need to learn to share, but it's a two way street. If you make everything in your house communal, how does the child know what is theirs and what must be asked for? By establishing ownership you establish that a) not everything belongs to the child and b) you must ask to use something that is not yours.
3) Bad is Bad, Good is Good.
If the child does something wrong correct the behavior: reprimand the child and return the stolen property. Conversely, if the child displays honesty, reward them for it.
Many times a child does something without knowing exactly why. Stealing is one of those things that can be done on impulse and without much guilt. It is important to establish not only that it's wrong, but also why it's wrong.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Taking the Law Into Your Own Hands
Something quite extraordinary has been going on in Compton over the last couple of weeks. Parents at McKinley Elementary School have become the first group of parents to take advantage of the 'parent trigger', a law that stipulates that parents can take over an LAUSD school if they deem it to be sub-par and they can convince at least 51% of the parents of the school to sign a petition. This particular school is looking to change their public school, which has some of the worst test scores in the nation, to a charter school with the goal of improving grades and attracting better teachers. The parents, who received 60% of parents signatures, are being met with some opposition from the school board. LA Weekly has been covering the first-ever 'parent trigger' in a series of articles. Click the link below to read more:
http://www.laweekly.com/2011-01-27/news/parent-trigger-gets-gibson-law-firm/
http://www.laweekly.com/2011-01-27/news/parent-trigger-gets-gibson-law-firm/
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Lessons from the Animal Kingdom
One of the great things about animals is that they can teach humans, who have forgotten or never learned, how to behave. The other great thing is that they are edible...
But in all seriousness, pets and kids go together like peanut butter and jelly. If you don't provide your child with pets they will broach the subject themselves. After much deliberation between you and your significant other, priest, bartender, hairdresser, etc. you will decide that young Timmy is [or isn't] the perfect age for a pet. The easy part is over. Now you have to go to the pet store.
If I were you, I wouldn't bring my child anywhere near the pet store. Think about when your rational adult mind sees puppies behind glass or kittens milling around, do you ever want to leave the store with less than 10 new friends? Now insert a five year old version of yourself and you can understand why it might be best to leave your child at home. Of course, it might be equally important to teach your child that he/she cannot have whatever they want all the time. You might save this lesson until you are dealing with less cute subject matter. Once you arrive at the pet store, the question becomes what animal to get. If you are a reader of this blog your child is probably under six. While puppies and kittens, or their full size equivalents, make fine pets, you might want to get a smaller animal, maybe one that resides in a cage until your child is older. Sometimes kids will not know how to interact with a large pet and even if they do, if the pet is younger or rambunctious, you will have to closely watch child/pet interactions. The other downside is that your child can only kind of take care of a dog or a cat and learn that kind of responsibility.
For a child under six the best pets are smaller: hamster, gerbil, lizard, frog, birds, fish. There is a better chance of the animal and your child staying safe with an animal that is this size and they can take part in the responsibility of caring for their pet. Learning to nurture is one of the great things pets teach children. Here are some others:
http://www.petplace.com/dogs/a-living-education-five-things-pets-teach-children/page1.aspx
But in all seriousness, pets and kids go together like peanut butter and jelly. If you don't provide your child with pets they will broach the subject themselves. After much deliberation between you and your significant other, priest, bartender, hairdresser, etc. you will decide that young Timmy is [or isn't] the perfect age for a pet. The easy part is over. Now you have to go to the pet store.
If I were you, I wouldn't bring my child anywhere near the pet store. Think about when your rational adult mind sees puppies behind glass or kittens milling around, do you ever want to leave the store with less than 10 new friends? Now insert a five year old version of yourself and you can understand why it might be best to leave your child at home. Of course, it might be equally important to teach your child that he/she cannot have whatever they want all the time. You might save this lesson until you are dealing with less cute subject matter. Once you arrive at the pet store, the question becomes what animal to get. If you are a reader of this blog your child is probably under six. While puppies and kittens, or their full size equivalents, make fine pets, you might want to get a smaller animal, maybe one that resides in a cage until your child is older. Sometimes kids will not know how to interact with a large pet and even if they do, if the pet is younger or rambunctious, you will have to closely watch child/pet interactions. The other downside is that your child can only kind of take care of a dog or a cat and learn that kind of responsibility.
For a child under six the best pets are smaller: hamster, gerbil, lizard, frog, birds, fish. There is a better chance of the animal and your child staying safe with an animal that is this size and they can take part in the responsibility of caring for their pet. Learning to nurture is one of the great things pets teach children. Here are some others:
http://www.petplace.com/dogs/a-living-education-five-things-pets-teach-children/page1.aspx
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Truth in Fiction
There is more beauty in truth, even if it is a dreadful beauty.
-John Steinbeck
Last week NewSouth books released a version of Mark Twain's classic Huckleberry Finn that replaced the abominable n-word with the word "slave." Of course the decision to do so set off a chain of arguments between pundits, educators and the like. To my way of thinking, it seems shocking that in 2011 we are still arguing over whether or not kids, in high school, can read this word and be OK. I attended public school until college and I can say that I heard every word I was not supposed to hear way before I read Huckleberry Finn. Add the internet into the mix and Huckleberry Finn becomes the least of our problems. I don't think that anyone at NewSouth, or supporters of their decision, could be so naive so as to believe that Mark Twain's classic is going to destroy childhood innocence by exposing them to bad words. I could at least understand that, but that's not the problem at all, the truth is.
The truth of America's past is the subject of much scrutiny. Americans look upon our history as a child does a parent and we do not want to find fault. When inevitably a child reaches maturity and sees that his mother and father are people like everyone else, a part of them changes forever. It is a necessary change, but the longer it is delayed the more explosive it can be. By changing Huckleberry Finn, we are changing an account of America's past (one that did not have a political agenda). It's already bad enough that our history classes from Kindergarten until High School largely ignore many of the more unpleasant parts of America's past, but to change literature as well, that will not do. All of this comes on the heels of Congress skipping over the more unpleasant parts of the constitution when they read it on the Senate floor last week (something Glenn Beck pointed out, marking the first time I applauded Mr. Beck).
Alas, this piece is turning into something political which it need not be, because that was not the aim. The aim was our children and the truth. By withholding the truth we stand to cause far more damage. A hard truth is accepted after some time, but the sting of a lie lasts (I'm paraphrasing Mr. Steinbeck here). No one likes being lied to, not kids, especially when they grow up and realize that they've been lied to their whole lives. Of course kids as young as preschool do not need to know about these things. Even older kids should not be told, but if they ask, there is no reason to withhold the truth. Tell your children the truth, whatever you judge it to be and they will love and respect you for it.
-John Steinbeck
Last week NewSouth books released a version of Mark Twain's classic Huckleberry Finn that replaced the abominable n-word with the word "slave." Of course the decision to do so set off a chain of arguments between pundits, educators and the like. To my way of thinking, it seems shocking that in 2011 we are still arguing over whether or not kids, in high school, can read this word and be OK. I attended public school until college and I can say that I heard every word I was not supposed to hear way before I read Huckleberry Finn. Add the internet into the mix and Huckleberry Finn becomes the least of our problems. I don't think that anyone at NewSouth, or supporters of their decision, could be so naive so as to believe that Mark Twain's classic is going to destroy childhood innocence by exposing them to bad words. I could at least understand that, but that's not the problem at all, the truth is.
The truth of America's past is the subject of much scrutiny. Americans look upon our history as a child does a parent and we do not want to find fault. When inevitably a child reaches maturity and sees that his mother and father are people like everyone else, a part of them changes forever. It is a necessary change, but the longer it is delayed the more explosive it can be. By changing Huckleberry Finn, we are changing an account of America's past (one that did not have a political agenda). It's already bad enough that our history classes from Kindergarten until High School largely ignore many of the more unpleasant parts of America's past, but to change literature as well, that will not do. All of this comes on the heels of Congress skipping over the more unpleasant parts of the constitution when they read it on the Senate floor last week (something Glenn Beck pointed out, marking the first time I applauded Mr. Beck).
Alas, this piece is turning into something political which it need not be, because that was not the aim. The aim was our children and the truth. By withholding the truth we stand to cause far more damage. A hard truth is accepted after some time, but the sting of a lie lasts (I'm paraphrasing Mr. Steinbeck here). No one likes being lied to, not kids, especially when they grow up and realize that they've been lied to their whole lives. Of course kids as young as preschool do not need to know about these things. Even older kids should not be told, but if they ask, there is no reason to withhold the truth. Tell your children the truth, whatever you judge it to be and they will love and respect you for it.
Upcoming Kid Friendly Events in January
1. Meditation classes - I once heard a Buddhist giving a lecture about meditation. One of the points he made that stuck with me was that we spend years exercising our bodies but we hardly ever spend anytime exercising our minds. We fill them full of knowledge, but how often do we sit somewhere without stimulant and just think? Or I guess not think? Either way the answer is not very often. These mediation classes are aimed at children, perhaps an early start will propel the future generations to spend more time cultivating the mind.
http://events.la.com/los-angeles-ca/events/show/160478865-kids-meditation-class-in-los-angeles
2. The youth and technology are linked together and for good reason. Young kids are growing up in a world where computers are as common as refrigerators. To them the world never existed without them. So go celebrate the future at the Wiseburn School District Community Technology Festival. It's inevitable.
http://events.la.com/hawthorne-ca/events/show/157418785-2011-wiseburn-school-district-community-technology-festival
3. Go green without the green and visit the LA Arboretum on the third Tuesday of any month, January 18th for those keeping track at home, when it is absolutely free.
http://www.arboretum.org/
4. More animation exists than just Pixar and more languages exist than English. One of the year's best animated films, The Illusionist (L'illusionniste), is playing in Los Angeles. Your child may not understand the language, but a pretty picture is a pretty picture and it will broaden their horizons.
http://www.mrmovietimes.com/movies/Illusionist-L-illusionniste.html
5. Another thing to do that will be fun and educational: Nothin' But Sand Beach Clean Up. Kids learn the importance of throwing trash away properly and the beach gets cleaned up. Everybody wins.
http://www.redtri.com/los-angeles-events/nothin%E2%80%99-but-sand-beach-clean-up
http://events.la.com/los-angeles-ca/events/show/160478865-kids-meditation-class-in-los-angeles
2. The youth and technology are linked together and for good reason. Young kids are growing up in a world where computers are as common as refrigerators. To them the world never existed without them. So go celebrate the future at the Wiseburn School District Community Technology Festival. It's inevitable.
http://events.la.com/hawthorne-ca/events/show/157418785-2011-wiseburn-school-district-community-technology-festival
3. Go green without the green and visit the LA Arboretum on the third Tuesday of any month, January 18th for those keeping track at home, when it is absolutely free.
http://www.arboretum.org/
4. More animation exists than just Pixar and more languages exist than English. One of the year's best animated films, The Illusionist (L'illusionniste), is playing in Los Angeles. Your child may not understand the language, but a pretty picture is a pretty picture and it will broaden their horizons.
http://www.mrmovietimes.com/movies/Illusionist-L-illusionniste.html
5. Another thing to do that will be fun and educational: Nothin' But Sand Beach Clean Up. Kids learn the importance of throwing trash away properly and the beach gets cleaned up. Everybody wins.
http://www.redtri.com/los-angeles-events/nothin%E2%80%99-but-sand-beach-clean-up
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